**Okay, so this story is a bit experimental because it is different from my normal writing. You might see a few more of these types of stories {more like rants} if people like them. Please just tell me whatever you think of it in the comments. If it’s 100% trash, don’t be afraid to say so! Anyways, enjoy!**
Hugs. Everyone has to deal with them. But why? Is this really the most effective way to show compassion? I mean, why do people embrace one another? Gross. Or maybe that’s just me. Yeah, it’s probably just me. Definitely. Like look at these people, they will hug ALL their friends! And I’m just over here like, “Cool, heh, you guys just do that. I’ll just chill over here.” … *tear slowly rolling down cheek*.
Sometimes, there are actually times I want to hug someone! It’s like when you feel this fundamental coldness inside you, and you feel so alone and separated. In those times, I’ll be thinking, “Man, do I need a hug or what? Hey, I’ll just go hug someone!” Then I realize, “Oh yeah! *sad laughing* I don’t know how to hug… HA! *tear rolling down eye*”.
Or maybe it’s just the way that the bro community operates. I mean, this is what girls are like,
“Linda, it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other! Like, hasn’t it been over 3 hours?”
“O M G! Is that you Sally? WOW! You’ve changed sooo much.”
*happy embrace*
And then guys are like,
“Yo bro, waddup?”
“Not much bro.”
And that’s it. No hugging. Nothing.
Maybe I should google how to hug. Yeah, that’s a good idea. Just wait a minute… *googling “how to hug”*. Okay, so here’s a wikihow on how to hug. Hmmm, there’s different techniques to hugging different people? Okay, let’s read the section on “Hugging a Friend”. Step 1: “Go up to your friend. Give your friend a genuine smile.” Okay, easy enough. Oh, step 2 has two parts, one for guys, one for girls. Let’s look at the guys one: “Embrace strongly, and clap each other on the top of your backs. If you’re having an emotional moment, hold the hug for a brief moment and do not clap each others backs.” That’s hard. Like rocket science hard.
OK, now it’s time for “Tips that Apply to Any Kind of Hug”. Step 1: “Hug only when the person you want to hug extends his or her arms. If the person doesn’t look like he or she is preparing to hug you, then you may want to back off.” Very true. Step 2: “Be welcoming when you hug. If either of you requested the hug, then make the person you’re hugging feel safe. Act as though the two of you are the only people who matter at the moment.” … I GIVE UP!!!!! That one is insane. How does anyone do that? Hugging is so strange, how do you welcome it? Oh, this is crazy.
Now, at this point in time, you may be thinking, “But Alex, how do you survive without hugging? It’s a tradition that everyone needs to do!” That’s true, but I’ve figured out how to bypass it. What I do instead of hugs are hand hugs. Basically it’s a hug using your hand, the thumb and pinky being arms. It’s great. I use it ALL the time. The only drawback is that afterwards, people begin to think that you’re a total weirdo. Yup.
Anyways, the point is that I can’t hug. And this is my rant about it. I’m a weird guy. Hope you enjoyed it though. Maybe teach me how to hug in the comments. IDK. Bye.